We all want meaningful friendships. We want people who encourage us, believe in us, pray for us, and help us become who God created us to be. In a world filled with comparison, criticism, and surface-level connection, genuine friendship can feel rare.
One of the most beautiful examples of friendship in Scripture is found in the life of Barnabas. His name literally means “son of encouragement,” and throughout the book of Acts, we see him consistently showing up for people with humility, kindness, faith, and support.
Barnabas was not the loudest apostle or the most famous preacher, but his impact was undeniable. He saw potential in people before others did. He encouraged believers when they were weary. He celebrated what God was doing instead of criticizing it. He made room for others to grow.
The world desperately needs more people like Barnabas.
If you have ever wondered how to be a better friend, the book of Acts gives us some beautiful wisdom.
1. Choose Encouragement Over Criticism
One of the first things we notice about Barnabas is his encouraging spirit. When others were skeptical or negative, Barnabas looked for evidence of God’s grace.
“When he came and had seen the grace of God, he was glad, and encouraged them all that with purpose of heart they should continue with the Lord.” Acts 11:23
Barnabas could have walked into Antioch and focused on what was imperfect. Instead, he chose to notice what God was doing.
That is the heart of a good friend.
A good friend:
- Celebrates growth instead of pointing out flaws
- Speaks life instead of gossip
- Encourages people when they feel discouraged
- Reminds others of God’s faithfulness
There is already enough negativity in the world. People are carrying heavy burdens you may never fully see. One encouraging conversation can truly change someone’s entire day, and sometimes even their entire future.
Ask yourself…Do people feel lighter after talking to me? Do I point out what is wrong more than what is good? Am I quick to encourage?
Being an encourager does not mean ignoring truth. It means speaking truth with grace and love.
2. See Potential in People Before Everyone Else Does
Barnabas had a gift for seeing what others could not yet see.
After Saul’s conversion, many believers were afraid of him because of his past persecution of Christians. Understandably, they struggled to trust him. But Barnabas stepped in and advocated for him.
“But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles.” Acts 9:27
Can you imagine what might have happened if Barnabas had not believed in Saul?
Sometimes people simply need someone to believe God is still working in them.
A good friend looks beyond someone’s past and sees their God-given future.
This does not mean ignoring wisdom or boundaries, but it does mean leaving room for redemption. God specializes in transformation. The person everyone else has written off may become someone who changes countless lives.
There may be someone around you who is one encouraging word away from stepping into their calling.
Good friends:
- Call out potential
- Speak life over others
- Refuse to define people by their worst moments
- Cheer others on without jealousy
One beautiful thing about Barnabas is that he was never threatened by someone else’s success. He helped raise up leaders. He made space for others to flourish.
That kind of humility is rare and powerful.
3. Be Willing to Show Up
Friendship is not just about words. It is also about presence.
Barnabas consistently showed up for people. When the church in Jerusalem heard about what was happening in Antioch, they sent Barnabas to encourage the believers there.
“Then news of these things came to the ears of the church in Jerusalem, and they sent out Barnabas to go as far as Antioch.” Acts 11:22
Barnabas went.
Sometimes being a good friend looks very practical. It looks like making the phone call, checking in, praying with someone, or simply being present during difficult seasons.
People do not always need perfect advice. Often, they just need to know they are not alone.
Think about the friends who have impacted your life the most. Chances are, they were people who showed up consistently.
Good friendship requires intentionality.
- Send the text
- Make the call
- Pray for your friends
- Celebrate their victories
- Sit with them in grief
- Remember important moments in their lives
Small acts of faithfulness build deep trust over time.
4. Celebrate What God Is Doing in Others
Barnabas did not compete with people. He celebrated them.
In Acts 11, when the church was growing and Gentiles were coming to faith, Barnabas rejoiced instead of becoming territorial or skeptical.
“For he was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and of faith. And a great many people were added to the Lord.” Acts 11:24
Comparison destroys friendship faster than almost anything else.
It is hard to genuinely love people while secretly competing with them.
Barnabas teaches us that mature friendship celebrates another person’s growth, opportunities, and blessings.
A good friend:
- Claps when others succeed
- Does not become jealous of someone else’s growth
- Wants others to thrive
- Encourages people to pursue God’s calling
Your friend’s success does not diminish your value.
God’s kingdom is not limited. Someone else flourishing does not mean there is less purpose, grace, or opportunity for you.
In fact, Barnabas reminds us that when we lift others up, God often strengthens and blesses us too.
5. Stay Humble and Full of Grace
One reason Barnabas was such a powerful friend is because he was deeply humble.
He was not obsessed with recognition. He was focused on serving God and loving people well.
“For he was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and of faith.” Acts 11:24
Good friendships require humility because friendship is not about always being right. It is about loving people well.
Humility in friendship looks like:
- Listening well
- Apologizing when necessary
- Being patient
- Choosing understanding over assumptions
- Giving grace when people fall short
None of us are perfect friends all the time. We all miss things, become distracted, or struggle with selfishness sometimes.
But grace keeps friendships healthy.
Barnabas carried the kind of spirit that made people feel safe, encouraged, and strengthened. Imagine how different our homes, churches, and communities would look if we all pursued that same spirit.
6. Point People Back to Jesus
Ultimately, Barnabas was not trying to make people dependent on him. He was constantly pointing people back to God.
“He encouraged them all that with purpose of heart they should continue with the Lord.” Acts 11:23
The best friendships are the ones that strengthen your faith.
A godly friend reminds you of truth when you forget it. They pray for you when you are struggling. They encourage you to stay rooted in Christ during difficult seasons.
Barnabas understood that lasting encouragement is not just positive thinking. True encouragement points people toward the presence and promises of God.
That kind of friendship changes lives.
Practical Ways to Be a Good Friend Today
Here are a few simple ways you can be a Barnabas in everyday life:
- Text a friend and tell them something you appreciate about them
- Pray intentionally for the people closest to you
- Encourage someone who seems discouraged or overlooked
- Celebrate someone else’s success without comparing yourself
- Speak positively instead of joining gossip or criticism
- Check in on a friend going through a hard season
- Offer practical help when someone is overwhelmed
- Remind a friend of God’s faithfulness and promises
- Make time for meaningful conversations instead of only surface-level connection
- Ask God to help you see the potential in others
The world does not need more critics. It needs more encouragers.
It needs more people willing to see the good, speak life, and walk beside others with grace.
May we all become a little more like Barnabas.
Ready to go deeper?
If this encouraged you, I would love for you to listen to Episode 24 of The Bible Made Real With Kathy podcast: “Acts 10-12 Explained: How God Expands His Church Through Opposition.”
You can watch or listen wherever you get your podcasts, and subscribe to my email list for free Bible study tools and weekly devotionals.
